Fill In These Things About You
#have I done this one before?
name: caroline (also occasionally known as bird)
birthday: june 18th
eye color: dark brown (like black coffee with the teeniest dash of cream, which, oddly enough, is how I take my coffee)
hair color: add a tiny bit more cream to that coffee
a random fact about you: I really miss art? I used to be really good.
favorite band: jesus idk. Metric? Bon Iver? Simon and Garfunkel? Daughter?
favorite song: rn it’s Fireproof by The National
favorite food: ravioli
favorite season: autumn
favorite animal: elephants! and whales. and dogs.
favorite movie: pride & prejudice
are you currently in a relationship?: no
if so, are you happy with them?: …
anything you need to work on?: hahahahaaaa oh dear
who ended your last relationship?: me ‘cos I’m a heartless bitch and all that
are you friends with your ex?: be tried. he texts me sometimes but it’s always awkward and with each brief exchange I realize more and more that we had almost nothing in common.
do you prefer someone shorter or taller?: tall tall tall tall
dark hair or light hair?: i used to think light but it doesn’t seem to matter much anymore.
red hair is nice but rare soooo
smart or attractive?: i want the best of both worlds like Hannah Montana, bitch
is creativity attractive?: swoon-worthy
do you care how much money they have?: no. I mean, the only reason I would care is if I thought they needed help feeding themselves or staying warm in winter or something.
your last phone call: my brother. he sent me a text at work saying “call when you get a chance” and a missed call. he never calls me so i assumed someone was dead. nope. he just wanted to ask if i’d bought his christmas present yet and if not he had a suggestion. bitch don’t scare me also I wasted 5min of my 15min break.
your last text: sent: “tomorrow night sounds good. I’ll need a drink after this damn week”
the last thing you ate: goldfish
the last thing you drank: jack daniels oops I had a bad day shut up
the last song you listened to: bright future by bowerbirds
the last book you read: The Girl With Glass Feet by Ali Shaw
the last movie you watched: catching fire
what is your heritage?: irish, italian, norwegian, scottish, english
do you play any instruments?: no. I can sing, though.
what are you pets’ names?: maya. she’s my parent’s dog but w/e I lived with them for a year so Maya is mine too I love the weirdo.
your favorite board game: riiiiisk.
a random childhood memory: my brother and would ask our mom almost every day if we could make “puppy house” where we would take off all the couch cushions and make a fort and pretend to be puppies. My brother and I became master fort builders.
your favorite color to wear: black. Or grey.
(Source: iwillcalltomorrow, via guillotineheart)
#serious stuff I guess
#also why the fuck am I losing so many followers?
#I lost 5 in one day
things; mostly serious edition:
- I’m so sick of my brother. He treats me like I’m nothing. He constantly invalidates me, tries to show how much more successful he is compared to me, writes off my problems, my tastes, my feelings as trivial. He left about an hour ago to head back up to school. When I said “come say goodbye to me” he said “I have to say goodbye to you?”. Not jokingly. Quietly. I shrugged it off and gave him a hug anyway. I try so hard to be a good sister and everything I do for him he just throws back in my face.
- BUT on a happier note- the other day I wore my nice black blazer with the velvet trimmings and I found something in my pocket- it was a shard of mirror, probably from someone’s car side mirrors. On the way to my audition for the acting program I most wanted to get into we stopped on the side of the road because I thought I might be sick. My dad found the shard of mirror and gave it to me. He told me that it was a shard of Sirius’s mirror that he gave to Harry and that Aberforth Dumbledore was on the other side to send help if I needed it. I put it in my pocket and left it there to give me strength. I had forgot it was there- I haven’t worn that blazer in a few years. It made me smile.
- Last night I had a conversation with a former coworker (who I didn’t like that much to begin with) who asked me if I’ve seen my ex-boyfriend recently. I said no, but we still talk. She again said (we had a similar conversation right after he and I broke up) that she thought I made a mistake. I had to refrain from telling her that last time I checked it was none of her fucking business. People always seem to doubt my ability to make the right choices for myself.
- And on a similar note: I get quite sick of people telling me I’ll find someone soon or that I’ll see the world differently when I fall in love. I don’t want to find someone soon. I don’t need to fall in love. I know that in the past few years I’ve gone through boys with an almost Taylor Swift-like frequency but I can’t do that anymore. But after Sean… I tried. But I can’t trust anyone. So I’ll be alone. I like being single. No one seems to get that. There’s no pressure, I don’t have to fit anyone into my life or feel like I’m compromising myself (I don’t like touching. Unless we’re making out or something, you don’t need to be in constant contact with me. Give me back my hand, I need that for stuff. And I don’t really like cuddling. You’re breathing my air and I’m bony, this can’t be comfortable for you. Or me- I overheat easily.) But what I really dislike, is people telling me “that’ll change when you fall in love”. No. I’ve been in love. I wish I hadn’t been but I was and no. I’m not some naive little girl who will learn the secrets of the universe after I fall in love with someone. You can fucking quote me on that.