This week has been so busy and I just want a chance to sit down every now and then.
I keep telling myself that I’ll wake up early and write or draw. But then I sleep in until 11am
and then I have to make coffee, take a shower, drink coffee, make my face not ugly, drink more coffee, get dressed, eat something, go on tumblr.
No time for anything else.
Two more days until my weekend off. Yesssss.
In other news, my friend Chris approves of my bookshelf which is saying something because he’s a major book snob (well obviously he doesn’t agree with every book but he was impressed by the number of books that meet his standard. So I feel accomplished. I love when I impress snobs.)
Speaking of snobs, I forgot I wanted to stop by the bookstore before work.
My supervisor is back at work today (she had a few days off) which means she’ll be looking over my absence on Saturday and deciding if it violates the notice I signed a few months ago saying that if I missed any more work without a doctor’s note then I’d be let go.
Sooooo that’s terrifying.
However, two of my friends have told me they could help me get barista jobs. So I’m not too worried? no I’m really worried.
but really, what could they have expected me to do? Stay at work and run out of patient rooms to vomit every half hour? Have to stick patients multiple times because my hands were shaking?
The worst thing is that I’m almost hoping to have an excuse to leave this job. But it’s a good job that pays well (well, for just me and my current expenses. Better than other jobs people my age without degrees might hope to have.)
yesterday at work I got to see a severed big toe that was in the lab to be biopsyed.
it. was. awesome.
and really gross but awesome (it was huge, too. Whoever’s toe it was has gigantic feet)
wooooo the Oscars happened. And I was at work so I didn’t watch. I was kept informed by the incredible Andrea, who shares a birthday with Ellen and should therefore co-host next years Oscars. My mom also texted me. Such texts included: “Alfonso cupronickel bust director” followed by “damn autocorrects”. “Best actor Matthew mcchonneghu” followed by “whatever”. And “Will Smith is presenting best picture. He’s actually wearing an ascot.”
Andrea had far too many gem texts to copy here.
I have to work today and, as always, I don’t want to. We’re short on people this week so it’s gonna suuuuuuuck.
and I know I’m gonna get shit from one of my supervisors for leaving early on Saturday but really, can anyone expect me to stay when I was running in and out of patient’s rooms to be sick in the nearest bathroom?
technically I’m still on probation, though (all new hires are on probation until they’ve been there for 6 months and I still have… one week to go), and I’m worried that they won’t care what my excuse is and go ahead and fire me.
ok- I can’t worry about that now. I’m gonna get ready for work.
I can’t decide if I should celebrate with pasta or sleep.
Sleep might win out.
I hope I feel better tomorrow because I can’t miss more work.
Judging by the fact that I just spent the past five minutes since I wrote that last bullet point staring blankly at my bookshelf- I should probably go to sleep.
also I ordered an I Want To Believe poster yesterday but apparently the order didn’t go through? and being me, I’m now worried that it’s some sort of cosmic sign that I shouldn’t spend $17.50 (plus shipping) on a poster. Because the Universe worries about things like that.
it was getting kinda gross (I always manage to spill makeup on my sink and forget to clean it up so it gets kinda icky) but I just spent a good hour attacking the whole bathroom with Scrubbing Bubbles and Meyers Clean Day.
It’s not a very big bathroom, else it would have taken longer.
I’m attempting to catch up on Teen Wolf (I haven’t watched any of 3b before now because that show gives me heart palpitations. Remember when it was just teenage boys worrying about girls and wolfing out at lacrosse practice????? now they’re messing with Stiles’ mind and adsjkladsjklaew) but the episodes are taking foreeeeeeever to load.
fuck this stupid show why is Derek shirtless all the time? At first I was not complaining but seriously this is overkill.
maybe I’ll sort my recycling while I wait for it to load. I already rearranged my bookshelves. I can’t do laundry because I’m out of quarters.
went to get my sweep (list of patients to draw, their locations and what tests to draw)
aaaaaaand discovered that my day off is today. Not tomorrow.
I’m actually annoyed. I had my whole day planned out for tomorrow. I was going to wake up early (ish) and get a lot of things done (grocery shopping, cleaning, dancing around my apartment like I’m in a damn teen movie, laundry etc.). But now I feel like I wasted half my day.
I really want to go off my meds. Obviously not on my own and not all at once but I hate hate hate being dependent on them.
And I think it could help my brain chemistry smooth out a bit. I’ve been on some form of psychiatric medication since I was 15. I don’t know what I’m like without them (aside from that awful few months in 2011 but I had no doctor supervision aaaaand I was also super manic and my doctor says I was probably suffering from PTSD as well sooooo). I feel like they’ve stunted me somehow.
I have to work this weekend. I hate working weekends. They’re almost always horribly, painfully busy.
Most days I feel so tired. Exhausted. Entirely drained.
fuck this winter. It started early and it doesn’t look as if it’s ending any time soon. I wouldn’t be surprised if it doesn’t start warming up until the end of April.